Sharing the Responsibility

A hockey coach I know recently replied when I asked him why he was quitting his position, given the level of success he had consistently attained: "I have had enough fifteen-year-olds tell me to [expletive] to last a lifetime. Coaches aren't respected, student-athletes aren't committed to the 'team', parents expect miracles, and school administrators make too many decisions based on political self-preservation."

That pretty well sums it up. While it seems to be a bleak assessment, and somewhat overstated, it does summarize the conclusions reached by many leaders and personnel involved in the athletic departments of our interscholastic and intercollegiate athletic programs, as well as our youth sports organizations.

Over the past decades, athletics were primarily viewed by participants and spectators alike as a vehicle for teaching discipline, developing teamwork, instilling an appreciation for competitive activities, and for giving students an opportunity to participate, achieve and have fun. By contrast, today's athletics has evolved to become a process tinted with the theater of the absurd. For example:

• Too many parents see scholarship money available for their son or daughter as the main rationale for their involvement.

• Many student-athletes participation is predicated upon their relative acceptance of convenience and their perception of personal difficulty.

• There is an overwhelming sense of entitlement that is constructed around the belief that all participants should get everything they want, regardless of their level of talent or their degree of commitment.

• School administration far too often "caves" to vocal parents who complain about the quality of guidance and instruction their child by the coaching staff - ultimately giving the benefit of the doubt to the students and parents over the authority of the coaches.

• Far too many coaches, in spite of their training, exhibit behaviors ill-fitting of a leader.

Yet many coaches are caught between the proverbial "Rock and a Hard Place." The private mandate to have winning teams (contrary to what they publicly state) requires playing the most talented athletes. Consequently, the ire of parents of less-talented athletes is raised when their children are not given an equal opportunity to play. "Damned if you do and damned if you don't," has become the mantra of many coaches today. Don't get me wrong - not all parents are difficult - not all student-athletes are slackers - not all coaches are unjustifiably criticized - and not all school administrators are unsupportive of their athletic staffs. We simply must understand the challenges that we face have to concern ALL members of the athletic continuum.

On the decidedly positive side, some of the changes we have implemented have made the athletic experience better - as defined by affording many more students access to sports than was the case in decades past. Females now have availability to essentially the same sports, facilities, and coaching expertise that males have always enjoyed. Also of note; schools offer a wider variety of sports in which a person can participate in at both a varsity level, or simply intramurals. With the continued advancement of the Special Olympics Program as well as the establishment of Adapted PE programs, people are provided with highly valued sporting opportunities for athletes of varied disabilities.

But for anyone involved in the athletic programs in our society today, there is no doubt a profoundly dark side. And there are no indications that the overall picture will improve without a seismic shift in the focus of the fix. There simply must be more attention paid to the systemic construct of our athletic organizations as opposed to the simplistic approaches of improving individual leadership, focus, and commitment.

If you don't think that the problems are prevalent across the participatory spectrum, read these comments that I have been witness to in recent years:

"I see far too many kids coming to the rink with the attitude of: 'I'm here for my spot' - Even if they have done little, if anything to deserve consideration for the position." - Coach

"It's not that much fun anymore. My parents or my coaches are always on me to be better than I am. I think I am doing OK but, I guess its not enough." - Athlete

"Every year, after tryouts, I see 20 to 30 kids wanting to transfer after they haven't made the team." - Athletic Director

"Its heartbreaking to watch your son, after all the time and effort he has put into the game, to not be rewarded like so many of his friends are." - Parent

"A couple of years ago, we had a player take 5 penalties in a game. After the game, I wanted to talk to the father regarding his son's offenses. No sooner had I started talking to him, that he reminded me that his son was ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). From that point on, we were nowhere near being on the same page regarding the discipline of this young man. Its things like that which make me concerned for how they can ever be productive members of society." - Coach

"Sometimes a decision is made about a coach (remaining hired) not by the product on the field, but by how many phone calls that I [the Athletic Director] gets. If you get tired of all of the calls, you replace them in the hopes that the calls will be less...at least for a few years." - Athletic Director

"I wish I had a gun." - Parent

When you read commentary such as this, you begin to see how the cause of athletics has lost much of the luster it once had. The experience is challenging at best, and often times hazardous at worst. The stories are legion of people from all parts of the athletic spectrum who have experienced the destructive forces of the dysfunctional element in our modern-day sports culture.

Yet I passionately believe that we can - dare I say "must" - change the direction of athletics in our schools and youth associations. Athletics has always been unique in providing a metaphor for some of life's most essential and productive tenets, including:

• Teamwork

• Discipline

• Confidence

• Responsibility

• Commitment

• Competition

• Achievement

• Excellence

• Respect

• Accountability

• Pride

• Fairness

• Honesty

• Trust

And the list could go on. Unfortunately, the time-honored definition of many of those terms has been eroded (and devalued) by changes in our society as a whole. Athletics doesn't merely have to be a mirror of our society - I believe that athletics can be an agent of significant change. Athletics reaches children at the most impressionable ages. If they can learn the positive aspects of the athletic environment, they can in turn provide the impetus for positive change in our society. There is too much as stake to not utilize this powerful structure and process of school and youth athletics to re-inspire a society to proudly value those attributes.

Coaches need to see a change in parent and administrative support. A paradigm shift in student-athlete's narcissistic, me-first attitude and behaviors is needed so as to bring about a more caring and empathetic society committed to service with the broadest context of community/team. These changes are not going to be done with individual awareness programs - there needs to be a dedicated effort to fix the culture of our athletic organizations. It will not be easy and it will not happen overnight It will take all people in the athletic dynamic working together to bring about substantive change. In doing so, we will be able to expect true justice for all, a recognition of the essential need for discipline and structure in our lives, and an overarching commitment to embrace excellence in everything we do.

From that singular premise, each individual can find the will and determination to be part of the solution....not part of the problem.